Trying to Grow Up

Just recently I realized that I need to do things on my own rather than waiting for people to make decision for me. I always depend on older people or more experienced ones like my older sister or my friends. Its time to handle things my way.

It seems that its rather late to finally have my own identity or personality. Well, its better now than never. There are some things that occured lately that made me realized I don't act my age. I know I can never give up my love fo manga or anime, despite how people think its a child's play. But that's an another issue, anime and manga was made for teens and young adults, not little kids.

I'm thinking how do adults handle things? Do they go through it over conflicts like fighting with friends or discuss things over face to face or maybe just ignore the issue and go straight to the next one. I did all of that. Sometimes it works, most of it dont. Is this a process of growing up? When I'm tired of facing problems, I just felt like packing my bags and go for a vacation (except the fact that the only place I can afford to go to is either to my mom's or dad's place - which I don't think I can get a peace of mind either). Though there is a part of me that wanted to crush the things around me and tell people to buzz off, I stick my foot on the ground and take it to my face knowing that if I run, the problems will come after me. So, does that make me a grown up then?

There are a lot of things in life that I cant quite figure out yet because in still in the middle of learning. Yes, life is a process of learning and I do it by making mistakes. Mistakes are good, but only if we learn by not making the same ones over and over. I want to act like how people my age are supposed to but only because suits me not because I suit it. Being a teenager is hard, I haven't completed the stage yet, but learning on how to be a better young adult will prepare me for the challenges and obstacles in life. I guess its ok if I'm not as mature as other people or I dont act my age, as long as what I learn now will guide my through my life. So, I wont try to grow up, but I will learn on how to be a grown up ^^v